Being a mother,
grandmother, and great-grandmother means I have no shortage of living people to
love and cherish. Being a genealogist, I
have an endless supply of ancestors to love and cherish. Because the thrill of genealogy is the fun of
getting acquainted with my ancestors, my favorite motto now is “Keeping In
Touch With My Ancestors”.
Of course, the
challenge in this is finding them in the first place. Once the names, dates, and places are found I
begin to try to find clues about their lives, personalities and
activities. To do this means a study of
the time they lived and what was typical in their world. This also means I have to uphold the
genealogists golden rule, do not judge.
Until I learn about my ancestors in the world they lived in, with all of
their human frailties, they are just names, dates, and places on a pedigree
chart.
It was a revelation when
I learned that an ancestress became disillusioned with marriage and began a
life as a single working mother in 1880.
This is a time that we generally associate with, “a woman’s place is in
the home”, and that was the end of the story.
How brave, Sarah Huffman Reaver, was to leave, with the youngest of her
four children, and support herself and her child in the big wide world. I smile as I imagine the talk of Columbus,
Ohio when that happened. And Sarah became
someone I am proud to know and belong to. I can relate to her as a real person.
Finding my
Revolutionary patriots has afforded me the chance to learn about life in the 18th
Century. I can feel the sadness and fear that, Esther Sanford, felt upon
learning that her husband drowned in the Hudson River at West Point. She had a
new born son and eight older children to support. I can feel the heartache felt by, Abigail
Parmenter, when her patriot husband was sentenced to hang for his involvement
in Shays Rebellion. Each of my patriot
ancestors tells me a different story as I begin to know them.
I marvel at how thin
the thread of life is. This was a
profound thought when I discovered my existence is due in part to a baby boy
born four days before his mother died.
Charles B. Sanford survived, matured and produced the only progeny of
his father, and it is something I consider a miracle. So many people are alive because that baby
boy survived a difficult situation that could have easily had a sad
outcome. His father had no one to help
raise Charles, so he had to pay people to take care of him. My ancestors were strong in handling what
life dealt them. Charles B. Sanford is
not just a name on a pedigree chart. He
is someone I know and cherish.
It seems only human
nature to remember and report the sad times and the struggles of my
ancestors. However, I have learned about
happy times as well. When I plotted the
close proximity of the family farms of two of my ancestors, I could almost see
in my mind the corner of the two adjoining properties where they may have
rendezvoused, courted, and fell in love.
Jeremiah Thompson was thirteen years older than, Rebecca Sankey, and I imagine that to her he was quite
the man of the world. And he was indeed,
having fought in the War of 1812 and moved from Kentucky to Missouri and
finally to Indiana where they met. Theirs was a love story that lasted the rest
of their lives and produced eight children. The world is different now, society
is different now, but human nature is constant.
Gone but not forgotten
is a popular saying found on tombstones, but, I believe that as long as someone
is not forgotten, they are not gone.
Gone is a term I try not use in regard to my ancestors. The best way I can insure that is to write
about them and share their lives with my descendants, and other people that
descend from them.
To learn what their
world was like and the struggles they encountered and overcame is an
adventure. It is more fun than reading
the latest fiction novel, mystery novel, watching the most popular television
program, or movie. It satisfies my
curiosity, which is the main ingredient in my recipe for keeping in touch with my
ancestors.
As
long as I remain curious, I am still interested in my world, as well as, the
world of my ancestors. It is the best
mental therapy for me. It is the best antidote
for boredom. It is the best anti-aging
product on the market.
I
think I will change my motto to, falling in love with my ancestors. It better fits the way I feel about my
connection to them. I wish for you the
same joy that I find in knowing my ancestors. If
not for them, we would not be.
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