Patricia Craig Johnson --- Searching for My Ancestors --- Sharing My Life Stories

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Sunday, January 23, 2011

Meet My Mom - Dorothy O Cary 1918-2003

Lessons are a two way thing. There has to be a teacher and there has to be a student. Whether the student is willing or not, it doesn’t really matter. What greater influence is there in any of our lives as great as our mothers? No matter what species it is, mothers are destined to be teachers.

When I was around the age of twelve or so, I suddenly became aware of how wise my mother was. As a younger girl I hadn’t given it much thought, but, now I realized she always came through with the right answers and suggestions.

It was the closing of an era for me, the era of taking something for granted. I suppose that children assume that they are entitled to this wisdom from their mothers. As a matter of fact, it is barely thought of at all.

Being a typical kid, I didn’t ponder on this for very long, but it remained in the back of my mind, catalogued in the memory banks somewhere. When I was a young mother myself, at eighteen, I looked down at my baby daughter and remembered these thoughts. I wondered then if I would measure up. It seemed a monumental responsibility --- to be wise!

My mom made a smooth transition from being a wise mother to being a wise grandmother, and she made it look easy. What I wasn’t aware of is that I was learning from her – and believe it or not I was doing a pretty good job of being a mother. By the time my second baby daughter was born, I didn’t think about it very often. This seemed a natural job for me and it didn’t seem to take much conscience effort at all.

After all these years I think I have figured it out. I was blessed with a mother that had a special talent for using common sense. She didn’t panic when faced with a new problem. She calmly reasoned it out and proceeded from there. All of her answers and suggestions were based on one principle. She loved me! I know now that it’s very difficult to be wrong when love is guiding you.

When I was a little girl, when mom, David and I were alone, she faced some tough times. A young mother alone, raising two kids as best she could. The thing is, that a stronger memory remains for me. The security I felt was totally provided by my mom. She was so strong and wise that the feeling was transmitted some way to me and my brother.

I know she regretted that we had some hard times when we were little. What she didn’t know is that I wouldn’t trade those times for anything. I had a much greater gift than a room of my own, pretty clothes and lots of toys. I had the greatest gift of all – a mom that made sure that I was loved.

My mom would have been age 93 on January 29, 2011. I can’t tell her “Happy Birthday” in person, but I can share memories of her. It’s my gift to her, to never forget her. patj

1 comment:

Ezekias said...

I am repeatedly reminded of things my mom said when I was younger. Even more often, I can see her, as she was then, confident and loving in that way only a mother can be. When I had children of my own, I used to think, "Why bother to explain something to them. They aren't listening anyway." Now I know they were listening, just like I was at their age, even though it didn't seem that way at the time.