Patricia Craig Johnson --- Searching for My Ancestors --- Sharing My Life Stories

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Monday, October 20, 2014

Taking A Short Break From Loneliness

A person gets so used to being alone, that a short break from that feeling is a joyful thing.  In the five years since John passed away, I have had to get used to being very much alone.  It is self inflicted, of course.  There is such a risk in reaching out to others and taking a chance on getting hurt and disappointed.  It is funny how you can get used to being alone in that way.

My daughter was here visiting me for five and one half days and it was so easy to slip back into the feeling of "family" again.  It is also so sad to be back to being alone again.  I never would have thought I would be so alone in my old age.

This evening I was listening to one of my favorite songs, "The Cat In The Cradle" by Harry Chapin. As I listened to the words I had the thought that my children had grown up "just like me".  It is a never ending circle of events.  Generation after generation.

And yet I feel blessed that I can be content all alone.  I know people, but I don't have to depend on them to feel good about myself.  I am also blessed to have had that short break from loneliness, and the memory of the feeling of belonging again to a family.

I hope my dear readers forgive my emotional sojourn this evening.  Tomorrow will be a brighter day for sure --- for me and for you.  Patj

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