That's a Good Reason By Darcy
Ancestral Quest October 2014 Newsletter
When life is shaking its fist at us and staring us right in the eye, it matters where you have come from, that you are an apple hanging on a family tree and that you have a tree that you belong to. You matter, those whom you love matter. You and they need to know they matter. Identity hits at the very root of all of our souls.
We once communicated with a young man who had ended up in a state prison at the point of the mountain in Utah. While visiting another prisoner, this man shared his experience in prison of finding himself by finding who he is by tracking down his family tree.
After he told us his story on how he ended up in prison, he told us, “Had I known who I was, I would not have ended up here.” Lessons from classics like “Oliver Twist” and “Anastasia” would never have made such an emotional impact on the man, both Oliver and Anastasia were beaten up physically and emotionally by cruelties in life, but were lifted out of their circumstances and grief by extended family.
To not have a strong connection to family, no matter the reason, interferes with our being able to socially or academically function at our potential. Loved ones who are able to relate to family members who have lived before, find strength knowing they are attached to a strong tree of their own. Men and women they can relate to those who have also gone through fear, anxiousness, abandonment, the unfamiliar and pain much like what they are facing and may face in life and they made it through.
Just knowing you are an apple that came from branches full of other apples, just like you, that is attached to a very strong-large tree that has roots and arms that reach down and are solidly deep, can make a mighty difference in never feeling alone. Knowing where they come from, that they have purpose, there is a plan is aided by them getting to know those who have left this life ahead of them. It can help them through some mighty tough spots.
How do we help our disinterested youth know who they are and to feel the powerful arms and envelopment of those who have come before of their very own tree? We help by sharing bits and pieces of a time of the other apples on their tree. This creates a safety net and a peaceful place they can go when the wars in the mind can become overwhelming. They can see how conflicts were resolved and that being overwhelmed and upset have resolutions. They will see positive behaviors and emotions that will build their confidence and ease their anxieties. With such a vast strong awareness of a mighty tree and being surrounded by apples of their own increases a sense of stability, warmth and caring that will nurture our children’s independence.
Now “That’s a good reason.” Working on your family tree will be important to a member of your family, the effort will be worthwhile.